Less People Cooking at Home Than Ever Before

Did you know that for the first time in our nation’s history, more families eat out during the week than eat at home? In addition, people are cooking far less than they used to. Less than 60% of dinners last year (2016) were cooked at home. Thirty years ago, about 75% of dinners were cooked at home. A 2013 study found that despite our love of Food Network and other cooking shows, Americans are cooking less and less. 

So why should you cook more and how can you find the time since most of us have super busy schedules? Probably the number one reason you should cook at home more is for your health. You weren’t expecting me to say that, were you? After all, when you eat out you make healthy choices and usually opt for salads or wraps. The short answer is restaurants, whether fast food or an expensive establishment, are in business to make money. That means, the less they spend on their ingredients, the more their profit. Sadly, for most places (unless you are eating at true Farm to Table places), they are buying meat from industrialized farms and are buying vegetables from industrialized farms that use plenty of pesticides. There is no doubt about it, if you are trying to eat clean, eating out is difficult. In addition, most restaurants use ingredients that are chock full of preservatives and additives. Our goal should be trying to eat as few chemicals as possible—who even wants to eat any, much less feed that to your family. 

Another reason to cook and eat at home more is to save money. Even if you buy mostly organic food, eating at home is almost always less expensive than eating out—unless you are ordering off the dollar menu at fast food places, and everybody knows that is not good for you. Seeking out local farms and farmer’s markets is a good way to find organic vegetables for less than you might at specialty stores. Another solution to finding quality meat for less is to buy in bulk with another family or a few friends—local farmers sell in bulk and will often allow you to customize your order. Do some research and you can begin by looking here to find farms in your area that are raising animals humanely and naturally. 

Lastly, eating at home, gathered around the table, is the best way to reconnect as a family. Numerous studies over the years suggest that children who eat dinner with their families three or more times a week are more likely to do well in school and experience fewer behavior problems. Did you know we spend less time cooking each day than any other developed nation? We also spend less time eating than people in other countries. We all need to slow down a bit—at least for dinner with our families. 

So how to achieve cooking more at home? For starters, dust off that slow cooker! Take a few extra minutes in the morning to get everything into the slow cooker and when you walk in after work, dinner is ready! Also begin collecting quick and easy dinner recipes and keep them in a file or notebook. When you go to do your menu planning (another critical thing to do), check out your recipe collection for ideas. 

Hot Tip: If you struggle with coming up with dinner ideas, get the whole family into the act. Brainstorm with your children and spouse about what their favorite foods are and what they might be willing to try. Getting their feedback and even assistance in the kitchen, always makes it more likely they will try new foods. 

Things to do with the Kids at Home that is not Watching Television

If you have kids, you have probably heard “I’m bored,” a time or two, or ten thousand. The problem is, that usually means the television gets turned on, or the tablets come out. While watching movies or shows together can be fun—family movie nights are some of my fondest memories when ours children were young—most of us still wish our kids spent less time in front of a screen and more time interacting in a positive way with others. So what is a tired parent to do? 

Here are some ideas for things you can do even when you only have an hour or so of downtime. It’s always a good idea to have some tricks up your sleeve for the next rainy day or snow day when playing outside isn’t an option. 

Board Games

Before you think these are outdated, consider this—the board game industry is actually booming. The classics are always great—Monopoly, Scrabble and Life were always our favorites. But there are lots of other board games out there that are sure to get the entire family involved and laughing. Some best sellers that are popular with kids of all ages include Guess Who?, Hoot Owl Hoot, Clue, Scattergories, Say Anything, Apples to Apples, Charades for Kids, and Sorry. 

Cards

A single deck of cards can provide hours of entertainment. Revisit your own childhood and teach your children how to play “Go Fish,” “Black Jack,” and “Five Card Draw.” For extra fun, get out some poker chips and teach them how to place bets. 

Puzzles

This might not sound all that exciting, but it’s a fun project of sorts. Choose a puzzle with a theme everybody will like—maybe one of a vacation spot you are planning on going to, or an animal. Work on the puzzle in a spot where it won’t have to be moved—perhaps the dining room table. Set a goal for how quickly you will try to complete the puzzle—maybe two weeks, depending on how complicated it is. 

Cooking Contest

This is more fun to do if there are teams. Mom and one child verses dad and another child. Choose something age appropriate—cookies or a simple candy recipe. If you have older kids, or kids who have more advanced skills, choose something a bit more difficult—maybe hamburger sliders for dinner or lasagna rollups. After the contest, everybody wins as you all sample the fruits of your labor. 

Craft Night

This takes a little ahead of time planning. Visit your local craft store or even your supercenter, and find a craft you know your kids would enjoy. Models are also a fun, sometimes ongoing project. Like with puzzles, finishing the project gives children a sense of accomplishment. 

Pasta Night

Making pasta might sound intimidating, but it is quite simple to do. You can get a hand cranking pasta machine for less than $20 and the dough comes together quickly. The kids can help crank the handle of the pasta roller, or you can even roll it out with a rolling pin and cut it with a knife. A machine does work best though. Boil some salted water and cook your fresh pasta in just a few minutes—toss with butter and parmesan or your favorite bottled marinara sauce. Nothing beats fresh pasta!

Hide and Seek

Such a simple game—and so timeless! My husband used to play this game with our children in the house after dinner, while I was cleaning the kitchen and making school lunches for the next day. He was always the one who would hide and they would search everywhere for him. I remember smiling hearing their shrieks of joy when they found him. Sometimes he would “play dead,” and they would peer down at him and whisper, “I think he’s dead.” So cute. Of course hide and seek is also fun to play outside. How many fond memories I have of my own childhood playing hide and seek outside on warm summer evenings. 

Home Movies

I know I said I was trying to give you ideas that didn’t involve a screen, but watching home movies has to be an exception. It’s so much fun to look back and see what life was like even a few years ago. Children love seeing themselves when they were just babies or toddlers. When they get older, they secretly still love to see themselves when they were young—even if they act bored I will bet you they watch. The only difference is they will say things like, “Mom, you were so young!” or “Dad you were so thin!” 

Hot Tip: Look online for simple science experiments you can do with your children. Many can be done with things you probably already have in your home. It’s a great way to teach children without them even knowing they are learning. Who knows? You may be raising the next Albert Einstein! 

Dating and Connecting as a Married Couple

Have you ever seen an older couple holding hands? I saw the cutest couple recently getting out of their car. The precious little old man got out of the car and went to his wife’s side and opened the door for her, helped her out, and then they held hands as they walked to the grocery store. I had tears in my eyes! 

We all want to have a healthy marriage—one that is exciting and romantic—just like it was when we were first dating. Then, along come babies, toddlers, young children and then the dreaded teenage years. As if children weren’t stressful enough, financial issues, career pressures, and just all the hurdles you have to jump in life come along.

All of those factors can take a serious toll on even the best marriage. So, how can you dodge the bullet of a dull or worse, bad marriage? 

First of all, communication is paramount. If you have young children, finding time alone is always a challenge. By the time everybody is fed, bathed, homework is done, and are in bed, mom and dad are usually exhausted and ready to get a glass of wine and watch some mindless television. While I can relate to that after raising four children, I cannot stress enough how important it is re-connect with your spouse without the children interrupting you every two minutes. 

When our four were young, as soon as we got everybody in bed, we used to head outside to the deck—or even the garage if it was raining outside. Granted, we live in the south so the weather is pretty cooperative most of the year, but the point is, get away from the television for even 15 minutes and reconnect. We are serious music lovers, so that was always a part of our “getaway.” Of course we did talk about the kids—who did what, what happened at school, etc. But we also talked about our days—what happened at work, the news, our families, etc. 

Just having 15 or 30 minutes to talk and focus on each other goes a long way to making sure both of your emotional needs are being met—and that they matter. 

Another critical component to staying connected is of course, date night. Before you think I am talking about hiring a babysitter, heading to an expensive restaurant and/or movie, and then getting coffee at an overpriced coffee shop, I am not. Although that does sound like an awesome date night! When our children were young, we couldn’t afford a date night like that—hiring a babysitter for four young children (if you can even find one you feel good about) is not cheap. Besides the cost, I was almost always exhausted at the end of the day and hardly ever felt like getting all gussied up to go out. 

Instead, we had numerous date nights at home! We would put the kids to bed, have a glass of wine (or two or more), put the music on, turn the television off, and cook dinner together. Later that night we might watch a movie—or we just listened to music and talked. The one rule for date night—whether we were at home or away from home? THERE WOULD BE NO TALKING ABOUT THE KIDS. Now that might sound like an easy thing to omit from conversation, but I promise, it was not. Inevitably, no matter what we were discussing, one of us would bring up a kid-related issue. The other person immediately admonished the other and we nipped the “kid talk” in the bud. Date night resumed. 

Even though our children don’t live at home now (woo hoo), we still carve out that all important time for re-connecting at the end of each day. We also love our weekend excursions and date nights that keep things interesting and our relationship close. Good relationships and marriages are never easy—and all of them have problems. However, being intentional about communicating with your significant other is truly key when it comes to longevity. 

Home Matters Tip: 

If things have been rather rocky in your relationship and you want to try to reset things, why not arrange for a surprise getaway? Secure childcare, pack his bag, pack the cooler with snacks and adult beverages, and surprise him with an overnight trip to the mountains or the beach. While on the outing, have a rule about no talking about the children—just spend it remembering why you fell in love.

Children and Screen Time

Home Matters Tip:

We decided when our children were babies, we were not going to have a television in the family room. Guess what? Our youngest is nineteen and we are just now considering getting one for the family room. I am not saying our kids didn’t watch television (probably too much), but by only having a few televisions, instead of one in every room, it just inhibited their access.

Screens are everywhere—computers, flat screens, tablets, cell phones—most of us reach for our cell phones or tablets before we even roll out of bed in the morning. One study I read said the average person checks their cell phone 150 times a day! I am almost embarrassed to say that I am likely in that category. 

But what about children and is too much screen time harmful for their developing brains? 

Did you know that in 2016 the American Academy of Pediatrics rescinded their long time recommendation of no screen time for children under 2 years old? Now they say no screen time for children under 18-months, unless it’s a quick FaceTime call with grandma. They go on to recommend for children 2 years old to 5 years old should only be looking a screen for less than an hour a day, and that you should be right there with them watching whatever they are watching. 

According to the Mayo Clinic, too much screen time, or poor quality, has been linked to obesity, irregular sleep schedules and shorter duration of sleep, behavioral problems, loss of social skills, violence and less time for play. That all sounds terrible! 

So, what are busy parents supposed to do? I know I was certainly guilty of turning on a movie for our children so I could do housework, make phone calls, or cook dinner. What mother hasn’t done that numerous times? 

Some experts do have some good advice for managing how much screen time your children get. 

Begin by setting rules, agreed upon (ahead of time) by both spouses. That sounds fairly simple, but what one of you thinks is too much screen time, the other might not feel so strongly about. Once you come up with the rules, have a family meeting and lay out the plan for all to see. Perhaps there can be no devices during dinner—certainly not at the dinner table. Maybe there is a designated time when everybody can be on their computer, tablet or cell phone, and then they all get turned off. Many families have a no-device-in-bedroom rule. 

All the experts stressed being a good role model for your children. If you are constantly checking your phone or are on your computer, that sets a powerful example of what is most important to you. Little eyes are always watching you, even if you don’t realize it. 

By all accounts, most children (and adults) do not get enough physical exercise. Try to get outside with your children instead of looking at screens. Go outside and toss the football around after dinner, or even take a walk around the neighborhood. If the weather is prohibitive, dust off those board games and play a game of Monopoly or Scrabble—before you know it, nobody will be thinking about social media or their email. 

Minimalism

Did you have a New Year’s Resolution that involved cleaning out closets, the basement, or the attic? If so, how is that going? If getting rid of your “stuff” is difficult for you, or even if that is not something you struggle with, I want you to watch a fairly new documentary called Minimalism: A Documentary about the Important Things. The two men behind the film are Joshua Fields Millburn and Ryan Nicodemus. Both of them had rough childhoods, including financial troubles. Consequently, both grew up with strong feelings about working hard and securing careers with substantial financial security. Both men succeeded and had lucrative, albeit demanding careers. 

After a series of calamities, including losing his mother to cancer, Millburn found himself asking himself some profound questions, namely, why wasn’t he happy? What he discovered was that by simplifying his life and giving away much of his possessions, he greatly improved his quality of life and discovered joys he had never known. Nicodemus noticed the difference in his friend—he saw his friend as someone who was always happy. Millburn explained he had found a life of “minimalism” was the answer. Millburn explained that living the life of a minimalist does not mean you have nothing, it simply means you don’t have an excess of things. He said everything he owns has a purpose. 

This fascinating documentary begins with the premise that we are all under an illusion—we think that our lives are supposed to be perfect. We are constantly looking around us and asking, “how can I get that life?” The film gives lots of interesting information about how advertisers work to infiltrate every aspect of our lives—from signage on billboards and buses, to the power of commercials and print advertising. 

There are various experts in the fields of sociology and human studies that are interviewed, giving their thoughts about our desires to acquire more and more things and how society contributes to our thinking that more is better and will bring us the happiness we all crave. I found it so interesting that one group did a study about how much of our homes we actually use. Did you know that the average family of four only uses about 40% of their home? I totally believe that to be true! Now that our children are grown, there are days when I don’t go down to the basement or to the spare bedrooms upstairs. Except for sleeping in our bedroom, we are pretty much in the kitchen, family room, my office, or outdoors. 

The minimalists also explained that they are not saying you should get rid of all of your things—just those that don’t serve a purpose or add value to your life. For example, if you have a doll collection that you absolutely love, that is giving value to your life. But if you have a basement or garage full of things (i.e. junk) you never use and aren’t even sure why you have it, perhaps you should give it away. 

It is so true that when you do, in fact, purge your closet of clothes you haven’t worn in years, it does feel freeing. As a bonus, when you give things to one of the numerous charitable organizations in our community, you can know you are helping someone else. The old saying, “One man’s trash is another man’s treasure,” is certainly true. 

We watched the documentary on Netflix, but you can probably find it other places online. Let me know what your thoughts are!

Why Make Your Bed In The Morning?

Hot Tip:Invest in a good mattress cover and the best quality sheets you can afford. Also, splurge for some good pillows and a comforter or bed spread you love. We all spend quite a bit of time in bed—you might as well strive for the best night’s sleep you can.

Are your mornings typically hectic? Chances are they are. Children have to be fed and dressed. Lunches have to be packed and backpacks checked. Last of all, you have to get yourself ready for work and maybe grab the dry cleaning to drop off. If there is any time to spare, and you remembered to don your superwoman cape, you might even throw something into the slow cooker. For most of us, the last thing we are thinking about doing is making our bed. 

Maybe you should reconsider. I recently read the remarks made by Naval Adm. William H. McRaven, ninth commander of U.S. Special Operations Command at the University-wide Commencement at The University of Texas at Austin on May 17, 2014. His entire speech is incredible, so if you have a few minutes, go online and find it. 

The Admiral told the graduating class about ten things he learned from SEAL training. Guess what the first thing was? Yep. You guessed it. Make your bed in the morning! McRaven explained that in basic SEAL training, every morning his instructors would visit the barracks to inspect their beds. He said, “If you did it right, the corners would be square, the covers pulled tight, the pillow centered just under the headboard and the extra blanket folded neatly at the foot of the the rackrack—that’s Navy talk for bed.” He went on to say that even though it was a “mundane” task, it meant you accomplished your first task of the day. He said, “It will give you a small sense of pride and it will encourage you to do another task and another and another.” He also said, “If you can’t do the little things right, you will never do the big things right.” 

I grew up in a home with three older brothers—that meant keeping things neat and clean was always a challenge. I only really had control of my bedroom—that was my corner of the world. Being an organized person—even as a child, I almost always made my bed. Even in college when I certainly didn’t have to make my bed, I almost always did. It just gave me a sense of order. 

When our four children were young, I still tried to make our bed—even if nobody was going to see it but us. When the rest of your life—even your mornings, is chaotic, there is something calming about walking into your bedroom and the bed is made. 

Even if you are not a neat freak, why not try making your bed every morning for a week? See if it makes a difference in your attitude and stress level. Let me know your thoughts!